What other moms think

Just a warning, this post sort of rambles and may be more for my own benefit. 

Last Sunday, we went to a class to learn about parenting an older baby.  I arranged for mom to come with us since she spends a lot of time with Sarah Graves and I wanted us to all be on the same page.  There were two other couples attending the class.  One family has an eighteen-month old boy and the other has an almost two-year old boy.  At one point during the class, the question was asked whether we had any tips we would share that helped us get our little ones to sleep.  I am always happy to share what I have read and learned along the way, so I volunteered information on how we sleep trained Sarah Graves.  Like me, mom was more than willing to share what we researched and learned.  The conversation that followed is still nagging at me over a week later. 

Clearly, I hit a nerve with my information because one mom immediately went to crying (I mean bawling, here) and the other mom quickly followed suit.  I could tell I had offended all of them by mentioning that we used the cry it out approach.  At first, I was embarrassed because I felt like I had done something wrong by using this method of parenting.  So, I tried to explain how we didn't arrive at that as our first approach and we tried many other ways, but they didn't seem to work.  I mentioned how she really has never cried for any period of time and she has certainly never been left for hours. 

These families use more of an attachment parenting approach so they co-sleep with their babies and don't believe in doing things like putting them in a crib in their own room.  I understand the idea of attachment parenting and I was willing to let Sarah Graves co-sleep, but there wasn't much sleep happening when she stayed in our bed.  As these families talked a bit about their kids it became obvious that co-sleeping isn't working so great for them either.  In fact, one mom described her son as punching and kicking her while he nurses during the night and that she sleeps for maybe four hours each night.  Maybe she doesn't mind functioning on sleep deprivation for months and months, but I couldn't have handled it.  Judging by her quick emotional outburst, she isn't doing it very well. 

So that makes me wonder, why did these people feel they could be so put off by my effort to help my child learn to put herself to sleep and me get a decent night's sleep, when clearly their method is not working so great?  Sarah Graves learning to go to sleep on her own has been the biggest blessing and it has made a huge difference in her personality.  I think she cried more before we started using the cry it out method than she has since.  Just because you are trying to console an over-tired baby doesn't mean that they aren't miserable.  Now naps and bedtime are a painless process for us all and we get more time to really enjoy being with her instead of dreading what we are going to do when it is time for a nap. 

I don't think that attachment parenting is a bad way to go.  I think every child is different and every family has to find what works for them.  Don't judge me and I won't judge you.

I was hoping that posting about this would help me let go of my irritation at the situation.  I wanted so badly to let these people know that I love my baby so intensely and I have managed to work full-time and do so many wonderful and time consuming things in order to give her the very best.  Who are they to assume that just because I work and used a method of sleep training, I don't feel just as passionate about my child as I am sure they do theirs?  There, I think that helped.  Thanks for providing me with that therapeutic outlet for my feelings. 
The part of the class focused on setting limits and such was really fabulous and I will post more about that some other time.