Working Momma
When I first started my job there was a lady on my team who had two young boys, 3 and 1. She had taken off a couple of years to be at home with them and had just come back to work. At the time, I was fresh out of grad school, had lots of ideas, was current on all the research, and had very little restriction on how long I stayed at work. I remember working with this lady and thinking that she was at times frustrating because she just seemed slow in her thinking and she always had to leave by 5:30 to pick up her kids. To be honest, she just seemed dull because she wasn't interested in going to lunch with the rest of us and although she looked neat, her outfits were basic pieces with few accessories. She left the company after a year and has moved on to a new job and I haven't really kept in touch with her except through other people.
Now that I am a new Mom working with the new interns on my team, I have a new respect for this lady. I now realize that she wasn't slow, she was TIRED. I can identify with how torn she probably felt having to stop work on something important because it was time to leave to be with her kids. She didn't want to feel like she dropped the ball and she didn't want to miss out on those precious hours with her babies. She didn't join us for lunch because she was trying to get as much done during her time at work as she could and an hour and a half wasted going out to lunch took a big chunk out of her day. Her clothes were basic pieces because she knew that they would be washed after every wear, she didn't want to go broke on dry cleaning, and frankly, shopping for interesting accessories just takes a lot of time (her kids mind you, were probably dressed to the nines).
That's how it feels to be a working mom. You want to give your best to all of it and it's REALLY HARD to do that. Sarah Graves comes first for me, but it's hard to make the choice to leave projects with loose ends at the end of the day or to know that I need to meet a deadline and I need to pump a bottle, too. If you work with someone who is a mother, you don't have to make excuses for her, but know that some days she wants to stay late to see the project through and she also wants to be there for the bath and bedtime routine. Believe me, she doesn't need anyone else to make her feel guilty, she feels that way already.
Now that I am a new Mom working with the new interns on my team, I have a new respect for this lady. I now realize that she wasn't slow, she was TIRED. I can identify with how torn she probably felt having to stop work on something important because it was time to leave to be with her kids. She didn't want to feel like she dropped the ball and she didn't want to miss out on those precious hours with her babies. She didn't join us for lunch because she was trying to get as much done during her time at work as she could and an hour and a half wasted going out to lunch took a big chunk out of her day. Her clothes were basic pieces because she knew that they would be washed after every wear, she didn't want to go broke on dry cleaning, and frankly, shopping for interesting accessories just takes a lot of time (her kids mind you, were probably dressed to the nines).
That's how it feels to be a working mom. You want to give your best to all of it and it's REALLY HARD to do that. Sarah Graves comes first for me, but it's hard to make the choice to leave projects with loose ends at the end of the day or to know that I need to meet a deadline and I need to pump a bottle, too. If you work with someone who is a mother, you don't have to make excuses for her, but know that some days she wants to stay late to see the project through and she also wants to be there for the bath and bedtime routine. Believe me, she doesn't need anyone else to make her feel guilty, she feels that way already.
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