Back to Work

Tomorrow I am headed back to work.  The decision for me to go back to work was made long before Sarah Graves arrived and we planned early on for my Mom to keep her during the day while Aaron and I work. 
I went to school a long time to get my Ph.D. and to be able to have the job that I have.  I work for a good company and work with some nice people.  It's just that a few weeks after she was born I started realizing what a hard thing it would be for me to leave her.  I haven't enjoyed being away from her since she arrived and I am quite selfish with wanting to be with her all the time.  Over the past few weeks my anxiety about leaving her and going back to work has continued and there have been more than a few tears shed over this. 
It's not that I don't think she will be well taken care of.  I know that she will be spoiled rotten by my parents.  I am so attached to her and feel like she is such a big part of me that I can't imagine being away from her all day and enjoying it.  I love nursing her and being the face that she sees when she wakes up from her nap. 
I just hope that one day she understands that me working was what made the most sense for us and that I would have loved to have had the chance to do both, be with her and continue my job. 

Comments

Libby said…
Good luck today! I already know I'm going to be struggling with the same thing in a few weeks--it wasn't long after I held Emily for the first time that I wondered if we could live on just Mick's salary :). What a hold they have on us so early!

I know it feels good to know she'll be in such great hands though. Your mom is a treasure :).

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