Just When I'm Ready to Run...
Parenting is not easy and the older Sarah Graves gets, the more I realize how hard it is. We struggle with things that I think are typical of toddlers: establishing her independence, pushing boundaries, two-year-old immaturity...the list goes on. There are times when I don't like to be around her, like when she is in such a bad place crying and screaming. Sometimes I realize there is no way we can go out and have a good time, but rather need to stay home and help her work through what she is feeling. Yeah, that's the part of being a parent that isn't so fun and it's hard not to feel frustrated. Those are the moments when a part of me wants to run! Then, I offer that screaming, crying, little girl a hug and feel that wet face against my cheek and I am filled with so much love for her that I don't know what to do.
I think what makes it seem really difficult is that we have chosen to parent in a way different from many around us and I frequently feel like I am swimming upstream. We are used to the idea now that we do things a little different than most, but it is hard when you choose a different way. Instead of using time outs or other set punishments, we try to use a lot of empathy along with some natural consequences. Aaron and I continue to discuss this choice and I think we are doing the right thing...most days. But then there are days where she acts out or actually asks me for time out (another post altogether) and I wonder if we have chosen the right path.
I recently came across two resources that seem to be helping me feel more secure in our way of disciplining along with other parenting choices, or at least like there are others out there doing it this way and having some of the same struggles. Mothering.com has a great website and facebook page making it easy to find tidbits of information and ideas. My other find was Attachment Parenting International, which has a great website and offers support groups for parents. I love getting the links to articles on my newsfeed and being able to feel like I get a parenting refresher in just a few minutes. Let's face it, with a newborn and a two-year-old, my days of sitting down to read whole books on a subject other than Elmo are far and few between. The parenting support group would be fabulous, except they meet during the weekday, but I have hopes of getting one started for working parents. That time to talk to other parents and feel a connection and normalcy with our choices would be invaluable.
Recently after a tough time of two-year-old tantrums, this article from mothering came up on my newsfeed. I appreciated the reminder to gently touch her while looking her in the eye and speaking to her to ensure I have her attention and the suggestion to priase more often than I correct is a really good one. Remembering to take a few minutes for me and deal with my frustration is something I need to work on. Coming upon articles like this with helpful advice just when I need it feels like some sort of a guidepost intended to show me that we are on the right path.
I think what makes it seem really difficult is that we have chosen to parent in a way different from many around us and I frequently feel like I am swimming upstream. We are used to the idea now that we do things a little different than most, but it is hard when you choose a different way. Instead of using time outs or other set punishments, we try to use a lot of empathy along with some natural consequences. Aaron and I continue to discuss this choice and I think we are doing the right thing...most days. But then there are days where she acts out or actually asks me for time out (another post altogether) and I wonder if we have chosen the right path.
I recently came across two resources that seem to be helping me feel more secure in our way of disciplining along with other parenting choices, or at least like there are others out there doing it this way and having some of the same struggles. Mothering.com has a great website and facebook page making it easy to find tidbits of information and ideas. My other find was Attachment Parenting International, which has a great website and offers support groups for parents. I love getting the links to articles on my newsfeed and being able to feel like I get a parenting refresher in just a few minutes. Let's face it, with a newborn and a two-year-old, my days of sitting down to read whole books on a subject other than Elmo are far and few between. The parenting support group would be fabulous, except they meet during the weekday, but I have hopes of getting one started for working parents. That time to talk to other parents and feel a connection and normalcy with our choices would be invaluable.
Recently after a tough time of two-year-old tantrums, this article from mothering came up on my newsfeed. I appreciated the reminder to gently touch her while looking her in the eye and speaking to her to ensure I have her attention and the suggestion to priase more often than I correct is a really good one. Remembering to take a few minutes for me and deal with my frustration is something I need to work on. Coming upon articles like this with helpful advice just when I need it feels like some sort of a guidepost intended to show me that we are on the right path.
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