Momma Worries
For three weeks SG has been attending her new school and the adjustment has been tough. I think my traveling after she first started made it a lot tougher. I have been so worried about her and whether or not we are doing the right thing. The school seems nice, her teachers appear to care a lot, and I am happy with a lot of the things they are doing. The problem has been the changes I am seeing in my child.
When I say that last week was bought, I mean it was excruciating and exhausting. She has started to have some nightmare where she yells out No! in her sleep over and over. We haven't experienced that before and fortunately, it's not every night. We also had a lot more two-year-old tantrums. Some evenings it seemed the crying went on from the time I picked he up until the time we put her into bed. She doesn't want to sit in her car seat, she doesn't want to get out of the car, she doesn't want to eat any dinner, she won't sit on the potty, she doesn't want to brush her teeth, she doesn't want to wear pajamas, she doesn't want to take her shoes off bed, the list goes on. There are also the times where she says one thing and then when she gets it, she cries because she wanted something else. My favorite is when she says she wants to do it herself and then given the opportunity to do so, she sits and cries saying, "I do it myself." That's just the evenings. The mornings were a repeat of these similar things only throw in the time pressure of trying to get out the door. Yes, I have been spoiled by sending her off to Lovie's in her pajamas knowing she will get dressed and breakfast there.
In addition to the change in attitude, she started with eczma on the insides of her arms. She has never had eczema before and it looked really red and itchy. I have since been doing research on triggers for it and found that stress is a big one. Great. My two-year-old is showing me through behavior that she is stressed and her body is showing signs of it too.
To make matters worse, she now cries when I drop her off at school. Last Thursday was so bad that an hour after I dropped her off they called to tell me she was still crying. I couldn't ignore it so I walked back over to try to soothe her. I could see why she was struggling as multiple others were crying too and it felt overwhelming in her classroom. I took her out for a bit and when I asked her why she was so upset she said, "my head hurts." I could see why with all the crying. I got her a big snack so I knew she wouldn't be starving and I gave her a dose of ibuprofen to help with the headache. She went back and was a little hesitant to let go, but she started playing and did okay.
Our weekend was great, except for when I left her in the church nursery and she started screaming. I hated to see her cry, but I felt a little better to know that it is a separation issue and not an I hate this school issue. Doesn't make it easier.
Monday when I picked her up her teacher let me know that she hit another child and had been throwing toys. Her teacher noted that this seemed out of character for her and that she felt she was acting out to get attention. Isn't that what I hoped she would learn! I was pleased that they handled it by taking her aside and talking about why they don't hit their friends. When I asked her about her day, she told me it wasn't good. When asked what happened she told me that she has no friends. I asked about specific ones and she would say no. It just broke my heart to think of why she would feel she doesn't have any friends at this age.
Fortunately, yesterday we were told that she had a good day. Her teacher felt she was happier, she ate some of the food, she napped well, and played with enthusiasm. I am praying that she is turning a corner and starting to adjust. If she doesn't soon, I don't know if I will be able to take it.
If anyone told me up front that being a mom would come with so many moments of agony, I never would have believed them. It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever taken on, but the one that makes me more happy than anything.
When I say that last week was bought, I mean it was excruciating and exhausting. She has started to have some nightmare where she yells out No! in her sleep over and over. We haven't experienced that before and fortunately, it's not every night. We also had a lot more two-year-old tantrums. Some evenings it seemed the crying went on from the time I picked he up until the time we put her into bed. She doesn't want to sit in her car seat, she doesn't want to get out of the car, she doesn't want to eat any dinner, she won't sit on the potty, she doesn't want to brush her teeth, she doesn't want to wear pajamas, she doesn't want to take her shoes off bed, the list goes on. There are also the times where she says one thing and then when she gets it, she cries because she wanted something else. My favorite is when she says she wants to do it herself and then given the opportunity to do so, she sits and cries saying, "I do it myself." That's just the evenings. The mornings were a repeat of these similar things only throw in the time pressure of trying to get out the door. Yes, I have been spoiled by sending her off to Lovie's in her pajamas knowing she will get dressed and breakfast there.
In addition to the change in attitude, she started with eczma on the insides of her arms. She has never had eczema before and it looked really red and itchy. I have since been doing research on triggers for it and found that stress is a big one. Great. My two-year-old is showing me through behavior that she is stressed and her body is showing signs of it too.
To make matters worse, she now cries when I drop her off at school. Last Thursday was so bad that an hour after I dropped her off they called to tell me she was still crying. I couldn't ignore it so I walked back over to try to soothe her. I could see why she was struggling as multiple others were crying too and it felt overwhelming in her classroom. I took her out for a bit and when I asked her why she was so upset she said, "my head hurts." I could see why with all the crying. I got her a big snack so I knew she wouldn't be starving and I gave her a dose of ibuprofen to help with the headache. She went back and was a little hesitant to let go, but she started playing and did okay.
Our weekend was great, except for when I left her in the church nursery and she started screaming. I hated to see her cry, but I felt a little better to know that it is a separation issue and not an I hate this school issue. Doesn't make it easier.
Monday when I picked her up her teacher let me know that she hit another child and had been throwing toys. Her teacher noted that this seemed out of character for her and that she felt she was acting out to get attention. Isn't that what I hoped she would learn! I was pleased that they handled it by taking her aside and talking about why they don't hit their friends. When I asked her about her day, she told me it wasn't good. When asked what happened she told me that she has no friends. I asked about specific ones and she would say no. It just broke my heart to think of why she would feel she doesn't have any friends at this age.
Fortunately, yesterday we were told that she had a good day. Her teacher felt she was happier, she ate some of the food, she napped well, and played with enthusiasm. I am praying that she is turning a corner and starting to adjust. If she doesn't soon, I don't know if I will be able to take it.
If anyone told me up front that being a mom would come with so many moments of agony, I never would have believed them. It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever taken on, but the one that makes me more happy than anything.
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