Nearing the End
Here I am at work pumping. A very familiar routine after doing it for over a year with Sarah Graves and nearly that long (gasp, is it really possible?) with Charlie. Only it is feeling different today. See I know it is almost over with Charlie. He doesn't want my milk in a bottle or a cup. I am told that he drinks an ounce or two from the bottle and throws it down! He does nurse some during the day on the weekends and that's why I continue pumping - so the milk will be there when he nurses those days.
I spent my entire time pumping for Sarah Graves worried that demand would exceed the supply. That by working I was going to end up short changing her and there wouldn't be enough milk. With hard work and dedication, that never happened. My supply has been good with Charlie, except for that brief time when a change in diet caused a major drop in supply. I have worked really hard to build up a huge supply in the deep freezer in case something happened and I had to stop pumping. Now he doesn't want it. The milk so carefully saved, bagged, and dated isn't really needed anymore. I gave away about 150 ounces a few weeks ago and need to give more of it away. It's just hard to get rid of it. Something that I have worked so hard and done with so much love just handed off to a stranger. Then again, I can't bear the idea of pumping and pouring it down the drain. That seems like a real waste for no one to benefit from it.
The trouble is that I am not ready to be done. I thought I would nurse him well into his second year and maybe beyond if he desired it. He hasn't weaned yet, I know and he does like to nurse at night and in the early morning. It just feels early for him to be giving up the daytime milk so much. I read that bones were found from neanderthal children that prove that they were exclusively breastfed for the first 7 months and then typically solids were introduced and the breasttmilk stopped around 14 months when they were capable of eating more solids. I think that what so many people fail to understand is that nursing is about much more than just feeding the baby. Yes, I believe it's the best nutrition he can get, but it is also an emotional tie that he and I share, a way that we connect at the end of the day, a way that I can care for him that no one else can. All of those things go into our nursing relationship to make it so special and something that I have worked hard to care for and protect.
I have always said that I would nurse as long as they want it and that's what I will do for him. You certainly can't force them! I just hope he desires it a while longer.
I spent my entire time pumping for Sarah Graves worried that demand would exceed the supply. That by working I was going to end up short changing her and there wouldn't be enough milk. With hard work and dedication, that never happened. My supply has been good with Charlie, except for that brief time when a change in diet caused a major drop in supply. I have worked really hard to build up a huge supply in the deep freezer in case something happened and I had to stop pumping. Now he doesn't want it. The milk so carefully saved, bagged, and dated isn't really needed anymore. I gave away about 150 ounces a few weeks ago and need to give more of it away. It's just hard to get rid of it. Something that I have worked so hard and done with so much love just handed off to a stranger. Then again, I can't bear the idea of pumping and pouring it down the drain. That seems like a real waste for no one to benefit from it.
The trouble is that I am not ready to be done. I thought I would nurse him well into his second year and maybe beyond if he desired it. He hasn't weaned yet, I know and he does like to nurse at night and in the early morning. It just feels early for him to be giving up the daytime milk so much. I read that bones were found from neanderthal children that prove that they were exclusively breastfed for the first 7 months and then typically solids were introduced and the breasttmilk stopped around 14 months when they were capable of eating more solids. I think that what so many people fail to understand is that nursing is about much more than just feeding the baby. Yes, I believe it's the best nutrition he can get, but it is also an emotional tie that he and I share, a way that we connect at the end of the day, a way that I can care for him that no one else can. All of those things go into our nursing relationship to make it so special and something that I have worked hard to care for and protect.
I have always said that I would nurse as long as they want it and that's what I will do for him. You certainly can't force them! I just hope he desires it a while longer.
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